Lies unltd.

They say that it’s the small but frequent things a person does that make up his character. I don’t think I’d be the best person (or the right person for that matter) to write on the issue of lying. Nevertheless, I’ll take the job.

An Assortment of Lies

Just like McDonald’s Happy Meals, lies come in different shapes and sizes: some are gigantic, and some, microscopic; and boy would you believe it?! They come in different colors too! Great isn’t it? ;-D There are white lies, yellow lies, purple lies, fuchsia lies, indigo lies, and even transparent and invisible ones! There’s a whole bunch of them for heaven’s sake! You name it! :-D

Lies also have a variety of uses too! Some are used to get a job, while others, to run from them. Some are used to avoid problems (who would want to have a problem anyway?), and some are used to avoid people. The more popular brands are used to acquire a girlfriend, still others – for more grown-up stuffs: lies used to get out of prison; to win a case in the court; or to simply get rich! There are also the multi-purpose and all-purpose lies – guaranteed to function whenever and wherever to whomever. These are ‘one-lie-does-it-all’ types. A neighbor of ours uses this type, you know. . .

. . .nah! just kidding! What they do use are the old-fashioned ones

. . .kidding again! Now seriously. . .they do

. . .not use any of those (at least that’s what my innocent heart wants me to believe, hahah!)

But regardless of their size, color, shape, name, or purpose, these lies have one thing in common – THEY’RE ALL LIES :-D

Why Exactly Do We Lie?

Whether it’s an innocent six-year old child or an experienced government official (if you know what I mean), the most common reason why people lie is to defend their reputation, to protect their image. Am I correct, or am I correct? Yes of course, there are other reasons why people lie: to spare others’ feelings; to quicken things up; to make someone feel happy, etcetera, etcetera, etcetera. But our most (I said the most) common rationale for lying is to defend our reputation.

Reputation is NOT synonymous with Integrity. The latter is defined as who we are in front of ourselves, when “nobody’s” looking; whereas, the former refers to who we are in front of the people. Maintaining our reputation involves being what we think is the best of who we think we could be in front of the eyes of our friends, teachers, or partners, even if it entails lying a little (after all, it’s just a little). Integrity, on the other hand, means being true to ourselves, to our conscience, with or without the eyes of those significant persons.

In a funeral service, it is easier to believe someone saying: “This man was a man of good reputation” than it is to believe someone say: “This man was a man of integrity”. Moreover, a man with a good reputation may not necessarily be a man of integrity; and likewise, a man with integrity may not necessarily have a good reputation, especially if the community where he lives in does not value this so-called integrity that he so passionately protects. True enough, sometimes, it feels better to have a good reputation though without integrity than to have integrity but without popular reputation.

That is why we people try so hard to protect our reputation, even if we have to lie a little to do so (just a little ;-P ).

The Liar Becomes The Lie-ee

One thing interesting about the art, science, and principle of lying is that: one lie increases the tendency of a person to lie again. the more you lie, the easier it gets. Cool, right? :-D

Another very interesting thing to note is the great possibility for a liar to believe his own lies. This my friends, is the dangerous and scary part for the liar. The person who keeps and keeps of telling false stories or false answers will – sooner or later – believe those things himself. When this happens, he can no longer distinguish between fantasy and reality. The liar has become the lie-ee.

Have you ever experienced (and I think you have) that feeling when you cannot tell whether an even really did happen or was it just a dream? It’s the same thing! The liar will come to believe his own deception; his own invented stories, and may even fight for it with his life, that it really happened.

One more disclaimer on liars concerns the issue of trust. I would not want to be with someone who keeps on lying and twisting the truth. Man! I will not be able to tell whether he/she is already telling the truth or still lying. Consistency breeds trust; consistency in lying breeds mistrust.

What Lies Ahead?

So what lies ahead for a person who lies, lies, and keeps on lying? Well, he has a variety of career options: he could choose to become a Registered Liar (RL), a Certified Master Liar (CML), or if he’s persistent enough, he may even become a De. D. – Doctor of Deception. Or. . . he could become a lie-ee, just like what we’ve talked about in the last part.

But just in case he gets too tired of lying, then there’s always another option – he could choose not to. The most effective and proven way to break the habit of lying is for a person not to lie. ;-D One may have tried doing this, then ended up returning to his habit. But friend, unlike in arcade video games, we live in a world where it is free to try again, no tokens needed.

If you have started and failed, start again. . .and again. . .and again. But also, you must not forget to assess yourself. If you keep on starting over and over and over and over again, then maybe there’s something wrong. Maybe you are starting at the wrong starting point. Why not begin with what they call the bible? After all, they say it’s filled with instructions on how to live rightly – and eventually (as they say) – happily. Besides, many have claimed to have been actually changed by this wonder-book. How can you be so skeptic to say you're not gonna be any different when you try?

When it comes to character-formation, the Best Time to begin is NOW. “The hardest thing to do is to begin”. But after that, things become easier. Just as one lie makes it easier to lie again, then one truth makes it easier to tell another. So go ahead. . . Tell the truth :-D

What is “Truth”?

(What would you do with a link that says "do not open"?)

An Invitation

© 2009, Karl Zion M. Remojo