The Only Worthy Thing

Lord Thou hath picked me for no logical reason
Thou hast picked me out of Thy Love
Before I was even born, Thou knowest me
Before I was made, loveth me, Thou hast

The Best, Thou hast given me- Thyself
No good thing hast Thou withheld
To this unworthy soul Thou hast grant
--The Greatest Love. To his understanding -beyond

Yet for some reason, or a couple of them
This soul has strayed, from Thy Presence
To find its way to its own desires
And follow his heart, 'cause it seems right

But through the years, this soul foundeth
That Thy Love is Firm, better than anything
This soul however, knowest not what to do
For far from Thee, he has gone through

Wept, this soul hast, till tears were none
It cried out loud till its voice was gone
"Bring me back to Thee" --it uttered and begged
Thou Art The Only Worthy Thing –it said

My sins are many, my faults countless
Hypocrisy and pride, I, they consumeth
Come like a flood, and sweep Thy servant
Thy Peace and Joy: to anything –more than

Tasks are many; special people, abundant
Distractions are plenty and responsibilities, important
But I’ll leave it all, and in Thy Secret Place, sing
For Thou Art The Only Worthy Thing!

My Personal Jonah Experience

It’s exams week at the UST College of Nursing. Originally, our exams was scheduled from Monday to Wednesday, but due to GMA’s declaration of Monday being a non-working holiday (Ka Erdie’s burial), it was moved to Tuesday. Since Monday pa, puspusan na ang pag-aaral ko. I need to be able to read and re-read all my pages. I don’t want to take the tests unprepared. I was so caught up studying that frankly, I had little time to pray, little time to have quality and quantity talk with my God. Our 2 exams for the first day went well (I think). I’ve read the answers to majority of the questions, and I think I did pretty well. When I got home, aral ulet. Aral, aral, aral. “Mamaya na lang ako mag-dedevotion” I told myself. I ended up falling asleep after I finished studying. When I woke up, Wednesday na. Konting pray, tapos aral ulet. That morning, sa CR, it was as if The Holy Spirit squeezed my heart reminding me not to forget my First Love. Joyfully, I got rebuked. The conviction was strong, but so is the joy, for I know very well that The Lord rebukes those whom He loves. Immediately after that, I decided to spend one hour of my time, exclusively to God and His Word (I remember saying, “Lord, miss ko na mga revelations Mo.”). My carnal mind was totally against it and kept telling me “Mag-aral ka na lang, sayang yung 1 hour oh.” But my decision is final. So there, I spent time (not actually an hour pa nga eh) to read God’s Word, and simply talked to Him, surrendered everything to Him, especially my exams. I actually had this devotion sa jeep, paalis na din kasi ko nun. Kasama na sa expertise ko ang reading while riding, been doing it for almost 4 years now. I reminded myself of His Past Great Works in my life. I got encouraged all the more to trust Him in this. The Holy Spirit led me to read the Book of Jonah. It’s a very short book and I have read it before, but there was conviction to read it again. When I finished, I had to pause to consider God’s Illogical love for His creatures, no matter how evil/dirty they have become. Check this out (The Lord speaking). . .

“And should I not pity Nineveh, that great city, in which are more than 120,000 persons who cannot discern between their right hand and their left – and much livestock?” (Jonah 4:11)

-This last verse gave me a Selah moment. I got reminded of God’s Compassion. The Kind of Compassion that even angels and demons could not understand.

After these, I went to our school’s central library to study (again). From 8am to 11am, I was there reading and preparing for my exams scheduled 1:30pm. Then at around 11:15am, I started receiving text messages announcing that classes are suspended due to the heavy rain. I kind of felt bad a little, kasi nag-prepare nga ko di’ba? But okay, no harm done, ‘di naman masasayang mga inaral ko. I decided to just go home, and probably get some sleep, then study again. On the way home, sa jeep, Christian, my best friend called me sa phone. There was an unusual excitement in his voice. What he told me, shocked me: “Karl! Karl! Alam mo bang cancelled na class!? Sobrang ‘Thank God’ kasi mali pala yung nakopya nating sked! Bukas pa pala dapat yung mga inaral natin!” –upon hearing that, ‘di ko alam kung matatawa ba ko, o maiiyak sa tuwa, or sisigaw sa galak, hehe, pero ang puro nasabi ko lang sa kanya over the phone were the words: “WEH!?”; “GRABEH!!”; “WOW!”; “MIRACLE!”; “THANK GOD!”. After we talked, I paused to consider what happened. . . Kung natuloy ang exam kanina, at the least, siguro pasang awa lang ang mga nakuha ko, because I really didn’t review for the subjects na ipagte-test pala namin that day. I reviewed for the wrong day, at kung nagkataon, anong mangyayari sa ‘kin. Upon this realization, Great Peace and Joy flooded my heart. Of course it would be foolish to think na ako lang ang dahilan kung bakit hinayaan Ni Lord ma-cancel ang klase, but looking at it through a personal viewpoint, I got amazed by the fact that God manipulated even the weather and the minds of the CHED officials (hehe!) just so He could save me from flunking my exams (Once again, I am looking through a personal viewpoint). But actually, as I continue to process what has happened, I realized: It wasn’t actually the suspension of classes that made me glad, and to be honest, not even the fact that I just got recently saved from devastating exam results . . . It was the knowledge and awareness that God is watching over me and causing all things to work for my favor! It was that assurance that God is with me that gave me so much Joy! God manipulated even the weather just so He could bring me back to an awareness of His Will. That sort of intervention reminds me of a certain prophet. Guess who – Jonah! God caused a storm just so he could bring this prophet back to the Center of His Will. It was also like a Nineveh experience to me of some sort because after I talked to Christian, I was so overflowed with Joy that I immediately want to share it to my co-passengers (even though I totally don’t know any of them!). When God prompted me to do so, I simply couldn’t say “NO”. When I left that jeep, I trusted The Holy Spirit to continue the message. Great Joy and Peace was upon me. “Thank Your Lord” I said.

Red Seas & Jordan Rivers

Twice every month, we, the JCSGO youth, are having what we call yUtNITED™. It’s a two and a half-hour Christian youth gathering held on Fridays wherein the youth get to bond with each other and praise God together, and enjoy His Word. For this week, I was the assigned speaker. I was really hesitant to accept the assignment at first knowing that my hectic BSN schedule would probably not allow it, especially during our present shift that time wherein we’re scheduled to have a duty from 12pm-6pm on Fridays (yUtNITED™ starts at 6:30pm, and the trip home usually takes an hour). But well, I told myself, “Surely, God would make a way.” I realized that if it was really God’s Will for me to speak, then He would make a way.

I asked Kuya Allen (our youth pastor) to make a letter to my clinical instructor requesting if I could just have the duty from 7am-1pm instead so I could be on my speaking assignment on time. The details were explained in the letter. I told this to my clinical instructor and explained it to her. She told me to have my letter signed by the dean. I totally have no idea why the dean still has to sign it. She (my clinical instructor) has authority over me, and if she really wants, she could just arrange my schedule with me without consulting the dean. Yes there is a hierarchy, but I think that in this situation, it was unnecessary for her to consult the dean (in fact, that was what the dean said when I talked to her). But being an obedient student, I waited for the dean. I waited for 1 full hour for this dean only to find out that she is NOT gonna sign my letter. “This is a personal request, not covered by academics, I won’t sign this. Talk to your C.I. about this.” she told me. “But ma’am, she said she won’t approve it unless you approve it.” I told her. “Kayo na lang mag-usap.” She responded further. “Okay, thank you po ma’am” I answered sadly. I then texted my clinical instructor about it. “I won’t approve it unless it was signed by the dean.” she told me via sms. When I pushed further, she ended up being mad at me. “Ano ba talagang gusto mo? Di na ko magrereply.” she texted. After that, I smiled and said “Thank You Lord for giving me very considerate superiors. Bless them Lord. BLESS THEM!!! (arghh!)”

That 1-hour wait caused me to miss my most favorite part of the service that Thursday night –the Praise & Worship. Come to think of it, naghintay ako nang ISANG ORAS para lang malaman na hindi din pala pipirmahan ang letter ko! Perfect! Simply perfect!.

The next day (Friday), of course I have no choice but to come to duty from 12pm-6pm. In my course, one cannot simply absent himself during duty days, because you will pay for the hours you missed. . .double! Absenting myself that day would have given me 12 hours of make-up duty, and with our present schedule of 6 days per week, that is very difficult to complete. I performed my duty assignments, and at around 3pm, I had the guts to make a request to my clinical instructor (again) if she could dismiss me earlier, probably at around 5:30pm so I could have a greater chance of making it on time for our youth gathering. Miraculously enough, she conceded. Well the irony here is that at around 5:25pm, one of my two patient’s NGT (naso-gastric tube) got displaced so we have to reinsert it. It was my duty, I could not simply leave it. So there, I had to wait for the staff nurse to look for the materials and to prepare them, and then I went with him to reinsert the patient’s NGT. The waiting and the insertion took about 30 minutes all in all! So instead of leaving at 5:30pm, I ended up leaving at 6:15pm to be exact! I immediately ran outside the ward, running like there’s no tomorrow! I took the LRT (I only use it for emergency purposes) and reached Anonas Station at 6:45pm! During the whole trip, I was saying “God will make a way, I won’t be late. God will make a way! Yes He will, yes He will”. When I reached the station, it was raining real hard! I had no umbrella and for the FIRST TIME in 4 years, I had trouble waiting for a Cubao Ali Mall jeep in Anonas!! At this point, I was like saying “God will [You] make a way??” (hehe!)

All along, even when my letter wasn’t approved, I had absolute faith that God will make a way. I mean, He assigned me to speak, so He will also provide the way for me. But during this point of time, when I found myself in that place, soaked by the hard rain having no umbrella and no jeep (not to mention not enough money to ride a taxi), there came the temptation to indulge in self-pity. Had I focused on myself that time (the thing I am really being tempted to do at that moment), I would have thought of things like: “Kawawa naman ako, eto basa na nga, wala pang jeep, at walang perang pang-taxi.” It even crossed my mind for 5 seconds to simply text Kuya Allen if he could just take my place because I can’t make it. I was tempted to give up, and to simply rest my very very tired body. That time, I was really tired physically and emotionally. Finally, I could not bear it anymore finding myself in that situation wherein I wanna obey God but it seems that everything is against me –even God (silly thought huh), so I said: “Lord naman, nasan ang suporta? This is Your event na pupuntahan ko, bakit ganito? Sinusunod ko naman will mo ah, bakit parang ayaw Mo ‘kong papuntahin on time? Ano ba talaga Lord?” Believe it or not, The Lord’s Answer came rather quick. . .”Ano ka ba?” I seem to hear Him say. “Hindi ka pa nga dinudugo sa pagsunod mo sa ‘Kin, sumusuko ka na.” Immediately, I got reminded of the prophets, pinuputulan na ng paa, ng kamay, kahit ng dila, pero nagpe-preach parin! Yung iba pinutulan na ng ulo ayaw pa ring paawat! Okay exagg naman na ata yung last example na yun (hehe!). Pero diba, kung sila nga ganun na nangyayari, tuloy pa rin, eh ako pa kaya na tubig ulan pa lang ang kaharap. Right there and then, I also got reminded of a beautiful part in the Bible wherein a prophet also seems to have trouble with how God is handling things, God answered Him by saying. . .

“If you have ran with footmen, and they have wearied you, then how can you contend with horses?” (Jeremiah 12:5)

That was enough for me to regain confidence in my God’s Promise and for my smile to return. Great Peace and Joy overflowed in my heart and a few minutes after I received this revelation, a Cubao Ali Mall jeep came! Wow! Thank God! (this was about 7pm already). But my Red Sea & Jordan River crossing, as I have found out, was not yet over. Pagbaba ko sa kanto, guess what! Baha! It was a literal Jordan River that I have to cross (haha!), the only difference is that I think I need to cross it wet (haha!)! But by this time, my heart is so much saturated by God’s Joy, and I didn’t mind crossing Red Seas and Jordan Rivers to fulfill His Will. So with all courage, I decided to run through that flooded street (in my nursing uniform)! It was like in a movie! (haha!) “FOOOR yUtNITED™ and FOOOR GOD!!!” I screamed as I ran! I reached the church at around 7:10pm (Of course that screaming part was only a joke).

I ran straight to the youth office to change. Good thing I was prepared. Before leaving the office, I paused for about half a minute and sighed “Haaay :-D, Thank You po Lord”.

Third song na of the Praise and Worship yung inabutan ko. Before my turn to speak came. I told The Lord: “Lord, gusto kong makita ang result that You INDEED used me tonight.”

It was very smooth. The youth were attentive and participative. After yUtNITED™, when I got home, I received a text message from a co-youth leader: “Zion thank you ha.” “For what?” I asked him “Yung tatlo kong mga in-invite na first-timers kanina told me that they really got encouraged sa message, at natamaan. Hehe, kaya thank you. Thank God.” Upon reading that text message, I paused again and said “Glory to You Lord!” Sulit lahat ng Red Sea at Jordan River na aking tinawid. I realized that nothing is more satisfying than finding yourself being used by God. Indeed at the whisper of God’s Call, no Red Sea or Jordan River could stop you. They will all make way, indeed, even oceans will part.

Moses' Despair: Part the First - His Disobedience

Moses was 80 years old when God called him to lead a large noisy squandering complaining ungrateful ambivalent crowd of 1 million Israelites from Egypt to the Promised Land – Canaan. For 40 years, he strived with them, stretching his patience to uncommon limits. Yet when the time came when the Israelites were just about to reach Canaan, when they were just a stone’s throw away from the Promised Land, the Lord – Moses’ Friend – reminded Moses: “Sorry friend, you cannot go with them.” Heartbroken as he was, Moses knew the reason why. This can be traced from an earlier part of the journey where in Moses disobeyed God’s command (Numbers 30:1-13). Here’s the story. . .

When the Israelites were at Kadesh, in the desert of Zin and when their supplies of food and water were already depleted, they were pretty darn tired and thirsty to the bone. So they did what they do best; they did the most effective and most logical thing to do for them; with one voice, they grumbled against Moses and Aaron saying: “Why the heck did you bring us up from Egypt to this terrible place!? There’s no food to eat and no water to drink! D*mn it!

So Moses and Aaron consulted the Lord. The Lord commanded them to speak to a particular rock, and that rock will pour out its water. However, when Moses and Aaron faced the mob, the pressure brought about by the people and the hot temper of Moses got the better of Moses. Instead of speaking to the rock to yield its water, Moses raised his staff, and hit the rock instead. The community was able to drink, but the Lord was not pleased. He was not pleased at all.

As a verdict, the Lord said to Moses and Aaron: “Because you did not trust Me enough to honor Me as Holy in the sight of the Israelites, you will not bring this community into the land I give them.” So to make the long story short, the next generation of Israelites – under the leadership of Joshua – did reached the Promised Land. But as for Moses and Aaron – with that single and seemingly simple act of disobedience – they never got a taste of Canaan. Moses was not able to reach his dream land.

With these thoughts in mind, I asked the Lord: “Is it actually possible that Moses died with despair? Can a man of God die with despair?"

The answer came rather quick. . .

continue. . .

© 2009, Karl Zion M. Remojo

An Invitation

Moses' Despair: Part the Second - A Man of Weaknesses

Part I
If one will look at it on a natural point of view, compared to other bible characters like Joshua, David or Paul, Moses was the least (no offense Sir Moses). He was timid. He was shy. He was fearful, hot-tempered, and incapable of exercising his authority over the people. He wasn’t as brave and daring as Jonathan; he wasn’t as intelligent as Joseph and Daniel, or as tactful as the apostle Paul. Naturally speaking, he was a failure.

But what is actually the measure of a leader’s success?

You see, a leader’s success – or anyone for that matter – should be looked upon based on the thing he sought, the thing he looked for, his goal, his purpose. If Moses’ goal was to be the most beloved and respected leader of Israel; or the most famous bible character; if his ultimate desire was to step on the land of Canaan and maybe even kiss it, then I say – Man! He indeed died with despair!

But this was not the case. Moses lived to love God. He lived to please Him – and with that, he was quite successful according to the bible (Exodus 33:17). Why did God Almighty delighted on Moses so much? It was because Moses was weak! God’s Glory is made perfect in weaknesses, and man! The guy had a lot of them! No wonder God delighted in Him so much – so much that He (God) even gave Moses what he did not ask for. Moses did not ask for fame. But look at how the Pharisees in Jesus’ time would defend their arguments by saying “Moses said. . .” or “According to the law of Moses. . .” Look at the children’s bibles in our days – the front cover is almost always an image of Moses leading the Israelites in crossing the red sea. Moreover, the story of Moses is one of the first stories told by Sunday school teachers to their pupils, and one of the first bedtime stories told by parents to their children. People from different parts of the world, and of different religions know Moses. In the long run, Moses did become one of the most beloved, respected and famous bible characters. God gave Moses what he sought, and much more.

continue. . .

© 2009, Karl Zion M. Remojo
An Invitation

Moses' Despair: Conclusion

previous
When he left Egypt to run away from Pharaoh, Moses was already as good as dead. This argument is strengthened by the fact that when God called him, he was already 80 years of age! His life was as good as over. This knowledge made Moses even more grateful. He knew that he couldn’t have gone far without God. He was an ordinary person who could have lived an ordinary life with an ordinary job as an ordinary shepherd, and died an ordinary kind of death, but he knew he got lucky, or more rightly put, he got called. These experience and encounter molded Moses to develop an attitude of gratitude.

You see, it matters a lot to have the right attitude. According to Pastor John Maxwell, a leader can indeed succeed even without having the right attitude. But the difference is that he would not be able to enjoy his success as a leader with the right attitude would.

You may call this person, or that person successful; you may call him/ her a failure. But all of that depends on how you define failure and success. That depends on whether that person was able to reach what he sought for or not. Our friend Moses reached what he sought for.

With the above premises, I therefore conclude that in the issue of fulfillment, and in the decision between ego integrity and despair, good old Moses did not die with despair. He left the earth rather satisfied. Indeed, full of hope and gladness, he slept.

© 2009, Karl Zion M. Remojo

An Invitation

Let Go; Let God

Let Go. . .

What’s interesting about this day is that I heard messages about “letting go” for three times, from three different persons (Last Tuesday, it was the phrase “lead by example” that I heard for three times from three different people). The first message - I heard (actually I didn’t hear it, it was a text message, so I read it) from my big brother (but not by blood) Kuya Allen. The second message – I heard from our truly unequaled professor in Literature – Sir Hibek. The last one – I heard from actress Ms. Cherry Pie Picache – we had an open forum with her after watching an alternative movie featuring her. But this blog isn’t about stars or being starstrucked but speaking of stars, this same day, I met (or more likely – nakasalubong) Pen Medina in Gateway Mall. He wasn’t really that tall, that’s all. Okay, so back to the true topic. . .hehe

Regarding Memories

Memories play a key role in the lives of Homo sapiens. Imagine living a life without memories! According to our beloved and very eccentric unique professor in literature, memories – whether good or bad, happy or sad – are a blessing. Then he asked the class: “When does a memory become a curse?” When no one inside that cold, dark, and dirty classroom could give him a satisfying answer, he did what any sensible teacher would have done – he answered his own question: “A memory becomes a curse when you cannot let go!” he said. “We forgive, but. . .do we forget?”. And indeed the old man is right. How exactly could we really forget!? It is definitely easier said than done. You see, the pain of letting go arises from the fact that unlike unused or unwanted files in a computer – memories cannot be erased or deleted simply by clicking the delete option. In fact, typically speaking, memories cannot be erased at all. They can only be repressed, or buried in our subconscious, or in our unconscious mind.

How to Begin

There is only way to start the process of letting go. We must learn to face the reality of the situation, the reality of the memory. We must desensitize ourselves with what happened. It is not gonna be easy! No way! It could make us cry, weep, and feel bitter, but we must not give up trying to accept what happened. You see, we cannot always prevent ourselves from having false expectations or hopes, and we do not always want to face and experience the frustrations and disappointments that come with those false expectations. But the challenge in being a human being is learning to accept that this is an imperfect and evil world, and yet, being able to hope for good, beautiful, and happy things.

The Solution

One very effective way to be able to let go and face the frustration that came from false expectations is to place our trust in God – the kind of trust that places God’s Standards higher than our standards. You see, we may have a particular job, type of life, or future, or person in mind, and when we do not get it, we feel bad, at worst, we feel angry towards God. But Genuine Trust helps us to believe that God has the best in store for us. It may not be evident at the moment, that’s why it requires faith. Besides, there’s really not much we could do about it, so might as well leave it to God. You see, if you know God and if you have a relationship with Him, then your future’s already decided man! So go on. . .Let go

. . .and Let God

© 2009, Karl Zion M. Remojo

An Invitation

Oceans Will Part

As God opens your eyes to what He can really do, and as you continually and desperately ask Him to show you His Glory, you will see oceans parting, you will see rivers stopping on their course, you will see mountains dividing to make way for you. And as you walk the path he intended for you – the path that only you can cross – you will witness nations coming, and multitudes gathering before you; asking you to tell them of this God you keep talking about.

Maybe, just maybe – this is the beginning of the revival that we have all been asking for. . .

Based on the song ‘Oceans will Part” by Hillsong United

© 2009, Karl Zion M. Remojo

An Invitation

Everlasting: Part One

Ilan sa inyo ang pumalpak na sa buhay? Or maybe, the right question to ask is: Ilan sa inyo ang 'di pa pumalpak? I think it would be like asking: "Ilan dito ang 'di pa nakakatikim ng tubig?" That's because all of us have failed and have been disappointed in ourselves at least once in our lives. Wala naman sigurong perpekto dito, kung meron, pagdasal mo kami. Ang isang sanggol na nag-aaral maglakad, ilang beses natutumba at laging nadadapa. But will that keep him/her from learning to walk? Did that keep you from learning to? (Don't answer that question just yet)

I have failed many times. . .
so many times. . .
so many countless times. . .
a lot of so many countless times.

Even when I became a Christian, I was consistent in one thing - failing. I was consistently inconsistent. That's why you really can't call anyone inconsistent. Because even the most inconsistent person is consistent in being inconsistent. Get it? Ang mahirap kapag inconsistent siya sa pagiging inconsistent. Heheh! Ang gulo niyo! Okay, enough, I'm getting side-tracked off my topic already. Sooo, where was I? Oh yah - Failure. When I became a Christian last June 11, 2006. The day after the day after that (June 13), I failed my first test in godly living! Wow, right!? That's gotta be some king of record. Wala pang one week, palpak kagad! You can just imagine my frustration and disappointment on myself. You see, I had this false assumption that when you become a Christian, you will be instantly, completely, miraculously, and magically changed overnight! Satan placed thoughts in my mind telling me: "Whooo, paiyak-iyak ka pa nung Linggo (June 11), oh tingnan mo ngayon, babalik ka din sa akin, bwahahahaha!" (Haaay, ang mga kontrabida talaga, pangit na, bobz pa!). It would be nice to say that that was the first and last time I failed God's test. But it's simply not true. Back then, many times I would text my big brother messages like: "Kuya Allen please pray for me, I did it again." I remember telling him: "Di ko na talaga kaya! Ayoko na! Ang hirap magpakabanal!". I remember - I would often walk to my classroom feeling completely weak and discouraged because of a mistake I've committed, and then I would feel like that, and be like that for days. . .even for weeks. I would have given up. It would have been easier, right? But as I have mentioned in my previous posts, and I will gladly mention again and again: The Love that God has for us is So Great and unimaginable that He doesn't want us to remain defeated for long. And indeed, where can I go from His Presence? Lagi Niya 'kong hinahabol. Isipin mo yun! Hari ng mga hari! Panginoon ng buong universe, naghahabol sa 'tin! W-O-W!!! Bakit kamo? I dunno, but I believe! (God doesn't require us to understand all things, He just wants us to trust Him). His Love is unconditional, unparalleled, unending, everlasting, illogical, unfathomable and unimaginable! Can you imagine that?

- No you can't! unimaginable nga eh! heheh

So this is how it happened. Last year. . .

(to be continued)

How Do I Love Thee?

I remember a poem back in highschool entitled How Do I Love Thee by Elizabeth Barrett Browning. In this poem, she tells of how much she loves her beau Robert Browning as "she counts all the ways"

I am sure all of us have experienced being in-love, or at least infatuated once in our existence. A person in-love doesn't care much of what others think of him. The only thing that concerns him and is significant for him is what his beloved [girl/lady] thinks of him. May sariling-mundo ika nga. All else simply become shadows in the light of their love (oha!). Lahat ng pagkaing nagpapaalala sa kanya sa kanyang mahal, sumasarap! Kahit mapait. Lahat ng lugar na pinuntahan nilang magkasama, kahit mabaho, nagiging masaya! At lahat ng tao nagiging maganda! Parang ang sarap tuloy mabuhay! Sabi nga nung isang kanta: "Kay sarap ng may minamahal". Yan ang in-love! Laging sabik! Magkasama na nga maghapon sa school, magka-text pa magdamag. Ang isang taong in-love, late matulog at sobrang aga magising kasi laging excited! Ang isang taong in-love napagkakamalang baliw kasi bigla-bigla na lang napapangiti. In short - hindi ito maitago-tago! Personally, wala akong naging crush na hindi nalaman/nabuking ng aking mga magulang at mga kapatid, totoo un! heheh. There's so much to talk about when it comes to this topic, we can talk about it all day.

One night (or midnight rather), Tito Felix (my favorite uncle) and I were talking. Nakarating ang conversation namin sa "second-coming" of our Lord Jesus Christ. He told me: "Zion, alam mo bang sa rapture, maraming Kristiyano ang maiiwan". To show him I know something (hihi), I responded: "Opo, kasi may mission Si Lord para sa kanila diba?". Then he said: "Bukod dun". So I asked him: "Ano po ibig niong sabihin?" He answered: "Kasi ang kukunin lang Ni Lord ay ung mga talagang in-love sa Kanya. It's the marriage of Jesus (bridegroom) and His Church (the virgin bride). Hindi ka pwedeng magpakasala kung 'di ka in-love". Those words immediately prompted me to think. "Oo nga noh" I said. I asked The Lord: "How much do I love Thee Lord?" Tito Felix added: "Malalim ang issue of idolatry. Hindi lang mga rebulto ang mga idols. Anything or anyone that steals God's Throne as Front & Center in your life is an idol". At this, napa-isip ulet ako so I asked: "Eh pa'no nio po maa-assess kung mas mahal nio na ang isang tao kaysa Kay Lord?". He answered: "I-kumpara mo, kung ang mga bagay na ginagawa mo para sa tao o bagay na yan ay ginagawa mo din Kay Lord, dapat higit pa dun ang para Kay Lord." At this, napa-analyze na talaga ko nang husto at nagtaka: "Why am I not as excited in my devotion as I am with playing NBA Live? Why am I not as excited in reading God's Love Letter (The Bible) as I am in reading certain people's blogs, friendster comments or text messages?" There's something wrong. It seems I'm forgetting the first and greatest commandment (Matt. 22:37).

But as I have mentioned previously, The Love that The Godhead (Father, Son, Holy Spirit) has for us is so Great that He doesn't want us to remain off-track.

God gave me a revelation of His Love yesterday, sa C.R. pa. hahah! Tawa ako nang tawa sa banyo as He made it clearer and clearer to me. Try to picture this: Imagine your girlfriend/boyfriend/crush so in love with you that there's nothing, absolutely nothing you can do to make him/her love you less. Imagine him/her leaning towards you and listening eagerly and attentively to what you have to say, to Your thoughts. That is how much our God loves us. That is how excited He is for us. Understatement pa nga yan kung tutuusin eh. In fact, He's so crazy for us that when His fellowship with us on the Garden of Eden ended, hindi Siya matahimik. He said: "OVER MY DEAD BODY (literally). I WON'T SPEND A DAY WITHOUT ZION, OR WITHOUT MARK, OR WITHOUT GRACE (put your name there)". This is where the phrase: JESUS, LOVER OF MY SOUL comes in (and is the front page of my devotional notebook right now). You see, if we would realize how much The God of the universe Loves us and how undeserving we are of That Love, then we would never have to feel unwanted or insecured ever again. This one single reason is for me, more than enough reason to eternally praise and worship This God.

So Go On. . . Don't be shy. . . Be in-Love!!! with The Author of Love Himself

- JESUS CHRIST

Youth Camp '08 Counselor's Training and Other Matters

The Youth Camp participants will be divided into 20 groups called tribes with 7-8 members each. The tribes will be governed/led/ruled (heheh) by 20 outstanding, radical and hand-picked leaders known as Counselors.

Of course they would first have to undergo a strict, pain-inducing, bone-breaking, mind-twisting, extensive military training....er something like that. :-)

The Training Session

The first training session was held last Friday, March 21, in which I was the speaker. My partner Ruby and I prepared a "get to know each other" game to break the ice. It was fun! Two of the girls emerged as winners (mahiya naman tayo boys!heheh).

And then it was lecture time. I started by defining what a counselor is and what he/she should be. Secondly, I talked to them regarding the Dos and Don'ts of a Counselor - "The 10 Commandments of Counselling" as I dubbed it. Lastly, I shared to them the difference between a Leader and a Boss.

It was exciting. Exciting in a way that I get a chance to share all what I have learned on my last year's camp experience, being a tribe-counselor myself at that time: Nandyan ang mga members na pasaway and others that are just plain-KJ, iba't ibang scenario, etc, etc. It was a perfect opportunity to share to them what I have learned. Glory to God!

What made it more exciting was the fact that these are a new breed of counselors, and you can see and feel the excitement (at the same time nervousness) in their faces. Ang pinakamasarap talagang turuan- mga first timers, kasi willing na willing silang matuto because they know that they know nothing yet.

I'm so blessed to have spoken in front of this group of young people (btw 11/20 came): the high-spirits of Alvin; the heart of Anthony; the enthusiasm of Poi; the humility of Ghil, Joy and Edison; the talent of Kate; the obedience of Kim and Mai-mai; the passion and submission of Pau; and the great faith of Rodney (yup, Great Faith!).

It was a blessed crowd of people. . . of leaders. . . of young leaders. Each with a great potential, each unique and everyone - I believe, yes I believe - ANOINTED.

What happened before that

What happened before the session itself was far more important and it would be a shame if I won't share it:

When I have finished rehearsing my topic, I felt sure and confident enough - probably over-confident - that I could deliver it well. As I walk to the church (it's hardly a kilometer away from our house), I felt excited to deliver "my" topic "my" lecture, the one "I" have prepared for. But as I went to the Evangel Hall, I felt rather different. I felt a general weakness come over my whole body and felt as if there were indeed butterflies in my stomach. In short - KABA! Yup, bigla po kong kinbahan, at pinagpawisan ng malamig. I quickly rushed to Ptr. Romy's office to compose myself, relax, tumikim ng air-con and to pray. As I was talking to my God, I realized that I depended on my own strength. It's as if I heard God say: "Kitam, kung 'di ka pa kinabahan, 'di ka pa lalapit sa 'Kin". I quickly remembered what Kuya Allen said, and this was roughly exactly how he said it (heheh): "Accdg to psychologists, ang konting kaba is healthy and helpful." Well it was pretty helpful to me! God also reminded me of one of my most favorite verses ( I have a lot of favorites): Proverbs 3:5-6 "Trust in The Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding, in all your ways, acknowledge Him and He shall direct your path". With that, I found courage and headed back to the hall. And guess what! Nakasalubong ko si Ptr. Romy, and so I told him what I feel: "Ptr, kinakabahan po 'ko". At ang nakakatuwa dito, he told me the same things that God revealed to me in his office, only this time, I heard the words loud and clear. He told me: "Zion, maganda yang ganyan para 'di ka sa lakas mo magtiwala. 'Pag 'di ka na nakakaramdam ng kaba, dun ka kabahan!" . Hahaha, oo nga noh! It was very comforting for me to know that Ptr. Romy and I are united in spirit, mag-ama nga talaga kami! (spiritually speaking). So he prayed for me right there and then. Now my courage was doubled and my confidence- UP again! Only this time, it's in the right place na, or rather, Right Person. The session started, the result - Testimonies for the Glory of God. (I think I'll just post them on another entry, baka mainip na ang nagbabasa nito, hehe)

ONCE AGAIN, ANO PA NGA BA - TO GOD BE THE GLORY!!!

(awww, my first blog entry with pictures, very touching, nakakaiyak, i'm so proud of it, hahahaha, nyak!!!)

The First Step

In basketball (and if you're a basketball player, you probably know what I mean), we have what we call "the first step" wherein the offensive player (the one with the ball) looks straight at his defender, apparently reads his mind, and then in a flash, leaves him using a quick first step to drive to the basket for a lay-up.

Kanina lang, God reminded me of the importance of the first step as he gave me that analogy on basketball. We have all heard of that famous saying na madalas sinsabe sa mga speech ng valedictorian: "A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step". We have also heard of the popular slogan: "The hardest thing to do is to begin". Alam ko gasgas na 'tong mga quotes/sayings/one-liners (or whatever they are) na 'to but they are indeed very true. I can say that based on experience.

I heard God's voice clearly in my mind saying: "Sa'yo ang first step anak" . I was immediately challenged! Natauhan ako! It was like He was telling me: "Hindi ko gagawin yan (first step) para sa 'yo. I'm not going to spoil you, trabaho mo yan". The first step, only the first step, is ours. The rest belongs to God.

I have experienced this so many times before. First, in making my assignments. Naranasan nio na ba ung ayaw niong umpisahan ang isang homework, di nio masimulan kasi parang kukulangin kayo ng time para matapos un, but when you begin to do it, and afterwards finished it, you realized that it wasn't as hard as you thought. In fact it was enjoyable pa pala.

Secondly, sa chores. Dati (a long long time ago, hehe), when I was supposed to clean my room because it was so disorganized, parang ayokong simulan kasi parang 'di kasya ung araw. But when I started to put this here, and to place that there, etc,etc, parang ayokong nang tumigil. And when I finished, I was like: "O ano, nasan pa, ano pa gagawin?" hahahaha.

Huwell, that's the Law of Momentum my friends (accdg. to John Maxwell). Momentum is the leader's best friend. But momentum, just like anything else, doesn't just come with the stroke of a wand, it is achieved, using the first step of course.

Then finally - with my prayer life (I say this to all Christians out there). Many times I have told myself: "Magpe-pray ako, Magpe-pray ako, Magpe-pray ako, but actually ended up sleeping and then waking up, realizing . . .wahahaha!!! (I hate those times). That was due to my lack of determination to do the first step. Yun na nga lang gagawin ko, 'di ko pa magawa. Kasi, as God made me realize, the moment you take that first step to sit/kneel/stand quietly alone with God, and start to open your mouth to sing/pray to Him, Holy Spirit na ang bahala sa following events. Tuluy-tuloy na un! You will find yourself praying for the things you didn't even know you should pray for.

"Draw near to Me, and I will draw near to you" (James 4:8) Remember the Jordan River incident, when the Israelites crossed over Jordan on dry ground? (Joshua chapter 3) The river stopped flowing only after the priest stepped into the rushing current. The piling up of the waters (defying the laws of gravity) was God's doing, but the step of faith was man's work. See.

I wrote this primarily to remind myself of this revelation, secondly to help others who in a way , has the same struggle. May God give you deeper revelations on this one. :-)