For me, one of the happiest part in any event is the preparations time. Sometimes, it's even more exciting than the event itself. Kumbaga, ung event, epekto na lang nung preparations. Agree ba? May nagsabi nga sa 'kin, sa isang boxing match daw, pagtapak pa lang sa ring ng dalawang boksingero, may panalo na - and that is the one who is more determined to win; the one who has spent more time and energy practicing and training, in short, the one more prepared.
This entry will not focus on how we prepared for the Summer Youth Camp, but more on the hindrances satan put on the staff team and how God enabled us to overcome them. Yup! Hindrances! Shakenings sabi nga ni Kuya A. Kahit nung simula pa lang ang dami ng issues of pride, pagmamalaki, at pangmamaliit. In short, the core team was not [yet] united. Si ganito may issue kay ganyan tapos si ganito naman 'di kumportable kay ganyan, etcetera, etcetera. Maging ako 'di na-excempt. In fact, it was during this period that I experienced one of the worst emotional bombardments in my 18 years of existence sa mundo. May kinainisan/kina bad-tripan/kinamuhian (heheh) akong tao,
hindi lang basta tao,
- youth
hindi lang basta youth,
- youth leader
hindi lang kung sinong youth leader,
- best friend ko pa sa church.
GANUN KATINDI !!!
I was confused, totally broken. This guy did not do or say anything [hurtful,etc] to me pero sobra siyang sinisiraan ni satan sa mind ko (demonyo talaga yang satanas na yan, hayop yan, wag kayong sasama jan), yan ang epekto 'pag kulang sa spiritual awareness, that we are in constant spiritual warfare, kaya mag-pray tayo, :-). It was very devastating to me. I don't know if you know how it feels. It was very hard 'coz I don't want to hate the person, but I just can't stop hating him. Hirap na hirap na ko to the point na wala na kong ginagawa sa prayer time ko kundi umiyak nang umiyak that God would bring back the innocence of our friendship. It really was an unwanted feeling. Dito ko nakitang mas mahirap palang maging may kinaiinisan kaysa maging kinaiinisan, gets? In english: It's harder to hate someone than to be hated by someone.
But God is so good that He doesn't want His children to remain under the yoke of slavery, so through God, the problem was resolved. Do you want to know how?
Really?
You wanna know?
Okay,
After praying, kinapalan ko mukha ko and I talked to the person. You really shouldn't keep a problem, hatred/bitterness to yourself. You need to open it up to God and to people. You shouldn't try to keep and hide it kasi lalaki yan. Ganun ako dati but taught me. Okay so back to the story. I opened it up to him, all out, not holding anything back. Usapang lalaki, usapang Kristiyano. I can say that our conversation was orchestrated by the Holy Spirit, kahit tanungin nio man ung tao.
As I let it out (fyi, wala pong iyakan na nangyari, kala ba naman nung isa kong kaibigan meron, ngek), great peace filled my heart as our friendship was renewed. Now I understand, satan is jealous and threatened by our tandem. This blessed person and I are partners in the Faith. We have done a lot of things together, and apparently satan is not happy, so he's trying to attack our relationship. That is so like satan, walang magawa kundi to steal, kill and destroy (Pesteng kaaway!). Actually, this person (not satan ha) was the one who discipled me when I first joined the 3:30 family. I partly owe my spiritual growth to him. Naturally speaking, wala kong kuya, but I look to him as my Big Brother in the Faith.
That is just one of the issues overcome thru and with God. When we, the camp staff had our corporate prayer and fasting 3 days before the camp, there was an overload of testimonies, mga kuwento ng mga struggles na napagtagumpayan, apparently hindi lang ako, heheh. Lam nio, we should really be joyful and glad in the midst of trials and problems, simple lang kasi eh- no battle, no victory. Ayun!
God gave me a lot of Golden Revelations in this experience, two of them are:
- that we are in constant spiritual warfare. In a battle, you must always be ready to fight, you can't afford to close your eyes or even blink, kundi tepok ka! Same thing with our spiritual life.
- Through God's Eyes - look on yourself and on others the way God sees you and them. Do not focus on imperfections. Do not look for perfect people,that's a foolish thing to do, you'll only be disappointed. Eyes on Jesus.
May God give you deeper revelations on this one. :-)
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